


Broken

by Skygazer_1



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Domestic Fluff, Dominance, Drama, Emotional, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Love Island: The Game Season 2, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Villa (Love Island: The Game), Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, eventual rough sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:53:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skygazer_1/pseuds/Skygazer_1
Summary: My fingers found their way into Lucas' gelled hair, causing him to pull back and look at me. “Babe, you know not to mess with my hair.”“Oh, you know you love it when I play with your hair,” I said teasingly and gripped his hair a little harder. His eyes sparkled and an uncontrolled moan left his mouth before he realised it. He tried to cover it by clearing his throat. I smirked at him, watching his cheeks turn red. I loved that I, and I alone, could ever have that effect on him. I leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “See? You love it.”------Lyra and Lucas finally get begin the rest of their lives together after winning love island. A pregnancy test changes everything between them.-----Domestic fluff with the occasional drama. Also, tons of eventual smut because it's Lucas, so how could I not have smut.
Relationships: Lucas Koh/Main Character (Love Island), Noah/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Panic

Chapter 1: 

“It’s negative. I’m not pregnant” I remarked after a sigh as I held the pregnancy test in my hand. Although I tried my best to hide it, a glimmer of disappointment settled on the words as they left my mouth. I felt my eyes tear up, forcing me to turn my face away from Lucas and blink the tears away before he noticed. For a second, there was no sound from either of us. The silence weighed heavily on me as I sunk further into the expensive leather armchair I was sitting in. My short stature was further diminished by my slouched shoulders as my eyes glued themselves to the single red line on the test. An unbearable wave of disappointment crashed into me, and I tore my eyes away from the test and placed it on the table next to me. I forced myself to tilt my head upward and look at Lucas’ face, dreading the expression that I knew would be spread across his face. Just as I had feared, Lucas grinned from cheek to cheek as his eyes crinkled with happiness. He looked so relieved. His arm rested on his forehead as his neck tilted backwards slightly. His eyes were closed, and he didn’t see me quickly wipe off the tear that rolled down my cheek with the back of my palm. His joy twisted my heart a little, yet I had no choice but to force a small smile onto my face. He finally opened his eyes and let out a long and content sigh. As our eyes met, he marched towards me, kneeled down at the foot of my chair and gathered me up into a hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as I buried my face in his chest. After a few long moments, he pulled back and placed his palms on either side of my head. His piercing dark eyes gazed deeply into my weary honey irises. I mustered up enough strength to plaster a weak smile onto my face as I brought my palm up and placed it on top of his. 

“We were so careful. We’re always so careful. But that was too close. I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my life. I wasn’t even this nervous when I told my parents I wanted to become a physiotherapist instead of a surgeon like they wanted me to be. My heart was thumping in my chest so loudly that I’m pretty sure my neighbours heard it.” He giggled a little at the joke he’d tried to make. When he saw my weak smile, his eyes narrowed for a moment and his brows furrowed. A tender concern replaced his smile. “It’s okay, Darling. You can relax now. You’re _not_ pregnant. We’ll just be even more careful in the future and make sure nothing like this ever happens again.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead before standing up and walking towards the door. 

“You know what?” He continued, “I’ll go and buy your favourite croissants from that shop you love. They always cheer you up. We can just sit together and watch one of your favourite comedy movies. Oh, maybe we can watch Shrek. You can’t help but laugh at all those silly jokes. Okay, darling?” He looked at me with concern as his eyes roamed my face. I reassured him with a small nod. 

“Lucas? Be careful of the media and paparazzi. We’ve only been outside of the villa for two months, so you’re bound to run into them.” I spoke softer than I usually did. Lucas flashed me a cheery smile and left the house. I heard the door close behind him, but I didn’t dare make a sound for the next few minutes. I sat there in silence, trying to comprehend my own feelings. With one last gaze at the pregnancy test, all the emotions I had been feeling suddenly became unbearable and came rushing out of me as I began sobbing uncontrollably. I pulled my knees up to my chest as I wrapped my arms around myself and sat there crying for what seemed like an eternity. 

I always knew that Lucas never wanted children. Hell, I always thought that I didn’t want children because part of me knew I would just mess the child up. We’d even discussed the issue in the villa. When Lucas had asked me if I saw myself having children, I had replied with a resounding no without a glimmer of hesitation. And that was the truth. When I thought I might be pregnant, my initial reaction was that of complete and utter panic. In the half-hour it took me to buy the test and then wait for the results, I had allowed myself to imagine a life with a child. As the initial panic and fear subsided, it was replaced with this unfamiliar warmth and love. It was as if a montage of the important life moments of my imaginary child had begun playing in my mind. I smiled at their first step, cherished their innocent laugh, yearned to hold them in my arms as they went to sleep. I began thinking of a name, adorning their tiny clothes and essentially planning their life. I saw myself be happy as I showered my child with the unconditional love that I had always wanted my parents to direct towards me. 

As soon as I realised the gravity of these strange thoughts, I felt an immense feeling of guilt and shame envelop me. I had always known that children weren’t for me. Then why was I so happy when I thought that I might have a child? Why did I feel this crushing sorrow when the test turned out to be negative? I didn’t entirely understand how to answer those questions without betraying the man I loved because Lucas and I had decided children weren’t for us. So I sat there and pathetically cried, feeling sorry for myself. To Lucas, the negative test meant that we were going to be alright after all. To me, however, the realisation that I might want children meant that Lucas and I may never work out and that broke my heart. I loved Lucas with all my heart; I was sure of it. When we walked out of the villa after winning Love Island, I couldn’t wait for our lives together. I had told myself that once I left the villa, I could finally forget about all the drama that happened and spend the rest of my life with a man that cared about me so deeply. I fooled myself into believing that it would all be perfect, but of course, my life was as stubborn as I was and went right back to being the painful mess that it was before I came onto love island. 

I turned my head and glanced at the negative test that lay on the table. I couldn’t deny the sadness and guilt that enveloped my heart when I looked at it. Suddenly, my heart began pounding and my breathing quickened. Sweat beads formed on my forehead. 

“ _Fuck! Fucking hell.”_ I thought over and over as I knew what followed… a panic attack. The realisation further amplified my dread and panic. I didn’t know what to do. I had thought my panic attacks had stopped. I hadn’t had one in over three years. I needed someone to talk me down, but no one in my life right now even knew that I had panic attacks. Not even Lucas. Well, there was only one person who knew, but there was no way I could call him. So I sat there and tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. Despite my best effort, I felt like my panic was squeezing the life out of me. My breathing got even faster, and it felt like my throat was closing up. 

Out of options, I picked up my phone and with trembling hands searched for Noah’s number and called him up. I realised how weird it was. We hadn’t said a word to each other since the finale. I’d barely looked at him since the night of the Prom where I had put an end to whatever was going on between us. My mind began forming all these questions that only intensified my panic. 

_What if he doesn’t wanna talk to me? What if he doesn’t pick up? What if he’s near Hope?_

I was dragged back to reality when I heard his gentle voice whisper hello. It sounded more like a question than anything. I could tell from his voice that my call surprised him. For a second I said nothing. I realised that my breathing was abnormally fast and heavy, and it must have sounded really strange on the phone. 

“Hello? Lyra? Is everything alright?” He spoke again, louder this time, yet his voice remained as calm as ever. 

“No. Panic attack” was all I could say in between gasps for air, barely able to breathe properly at this point.

“Okay. It’ll be okay. Just focus on my voice and breathe deeply, yeah?” Noah replied tenderly. I nodded, even though I realised he couldn’t see me. I put aside any lingering anger I had towards him and just paid attention to his voice, which was devoid of any hesitation or panic. In a calming tone, Noah began humming a familiar tone. 

“♫ Mm mm-mm mm-mm-mm mmmmmm ♫” My heartbeat slowed down a bit and a smile stretched onto my face as I recognised he was humming Africa by Toto. 

“♫ It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. ♫” He sang. His voice was a little shaky and hesitant, yet he managed to sing well. 

“♫ There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could do. ♫” He continued, his voice still soft and calm, becoming more confident as time passed on. I softly hummed along to his singing. As if gaining confidence from my voice, his voice got really loud as he sang the next line, “♫ I bless the rains down in Africa ♫, sing it with me!” I let out a chuckle and joined him as he yelled the next line, “♫ I bless the rains down in Africa ♫”. 

By the time the line finished, we were both giggling and laughing uncontrollably like little schoolgirls. I realised that my heart had slowed down and so had my breathing. Noah had successfully talked me off of my panic attack. 

“I still think Hold the line is much better though,” Noah said when the laughter had died down. For a few seconds, neither of us said anything. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.” I whispered as I got up from the armchair and walked towards the bathroom sink. I looked into the mirror and red, puffy eyes stared back at me. I could see the traces of the tears that rolled down my face. I grabbed a towel and slowly wiped my face clean.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m glad you called,” He chimed in immediately. “But can I ask why you called _me_?” 

I let out a sigh before replying, “You’re the only one in my life right now that knows about my panic attacks. I didn’t want to bother anyone else by telling them about it. Also, they’d stopped. Or at least I thought they’d stopped.” During our time in the villa, Noah and I would find time to talk to each other. We talked often in the beginning because we were genuinely really good friends. However, as time went on, it became harder for us to be alone. At first, Hope objected. After the final recoupling, it became nearly impossible because both Hope and Lucas weren’t exactly the type to be okay with their partners spending time with anyone else. So, we’d get a few minutes here and there every once in a while. It wasn’t like we’d especially plan them. We weren’t doing anything sneaky behind their backs. But the ease with which we talked to each other was comforting, and I realised I looked forward to those talks of ours. One day Noah talked about how he was afraid to disappoint people and how this habit of his could prevent him from going after what he wanted.

“ _Oh, just ignore me. I’m just overthinking things.”_ He’d said after, perhaps a little embarrassed by how much he’d opened up to me. His cheeks had turned pink and his eyes refused to look into mine as he felt like he may have overshared. Not wanting him to feel uneasy, I had shared how I often over-thought things as well and how that could sometimes give me panic attacks. 

“You hadn’t had one in three years. Why did it happen again?” He spoke gently. 

“You remembered,” I remarked with a chuckle to avoid answering his question. 

“Of course I remembered. It’s _you_.” He whispered. His voice was so tender and sincere it gave me goosebumps. He always did this. He made me feel so special before choosing Hope over me, making it hurt even more. I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t let him do this to me again. 

“No. No, you don’t get to say that. You had your choice, and I had mine. You picked Hope. I picked Lucas. I love Lucas. So, no. You don’t get to say shit like that to me anymore. I gotta go anyway. Thanks for helping me out, but I’m sorry I called.” and with that, I hung up. 

Before I began over-thinking anything else, I found comfort in trying to sort out my reflection that currently looked like shit, as I absentmindedly hummed “Africa” by Toto under my breath. I washed my face before drying it with a towel. I patted on some light makeup to reduce the puffiness of my eyes. Realising how sweaty my top had gotten, I quickly changed into one of Lucas’ t-shirts. I undid the messy bun I’d put my chestnut hair in and began brushing through it carefully, disentangling the knots. Thoughts of the villa came flooding back to me. 

Lucas had told me he loved me after the challenge where they checked to see if we were compatible. I’d simply replied with a “ _thank you”_ because even though a part of me loved Lucas, I couldn’t get Noah out of my head. The longing glances and the endless yearning kept me hooked on him. I knew that Noah and I could never happen because he would always choose Hope over me. But I was fucking pathetic because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t deny that a small part of me wanted to be with Noah. A small part of me was pitiful enough to overlook how he and everyone at the villa had overlooked my feelings for him since the very beginning. But the night of the prom, as I stood there in front of Lucas with his hands in mine, something changed. I saw this gorgeous and kind man in front of me who loved me and only me, and I was finally willing to let go of the idea of 'Noah and me’ and commit myself to Lucas. I’d told Lucas that I loved him at the end of my speech and I’d truly meant it. I barely paid attention to any other speech that night as my mind raced with thoughts of my future with Lucas. After the dumping, I went straight to Noah and ended things. This time _I_ picked someone else over him and not given a shit about how he felt about that. The next morning when we were all packing, I kissed Lucas right in front of Noah. It wasn’t because I wanted him to be jealous, that’s not me. I did it because I wanted him to see that I was happy with Lucas. I did it because I needed Noah to see that I’d begun moving on from him. 

I heard the doorbell ring, which snapped me back to the present. I walked over to the armchair, picked up the pregnancy test and looked at the mocking singular red line. I pushed down any part of me that wanted a child for the moment as I choose to prioritise the feelings of the man I loved. I threw the pregnancy test in the trash before I opened the door with a smile on my face. 

Before Lucas could say a word, I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled his face close to mine, wrapping him up in a passionate kiss. He began kissing me back instinctively and his hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. When I finally pulled back, I was met with a grin on Lucas’ chiselled face. 

“Someone’s happier?” He commented and laid a small kiss on the tip of my nose. I shrugged dismissively. 

“Now I believe I was promised delicious croissants and a masterpiece of a movie,” I said and dragged Lucas into the house. 

  
  



	2. Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fluffy insight into Lucas and Lyra's domestic life. Nothing too "racy" yet.

I woke up with my arms clutching onto a pillow. When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t see Lucas in bed with me. I pulled myself off of the bed and walked out into the hall and still couldn’t see Lucas. So, I decided to make myself some breakfast. As I was opening the fridge, my eyes landed on a note Lucas had left. 

“ _I went out rowing. Be back soon. I made you a toastie, and yes it is that weird combo you like which I remembered from when we made our first toastie. Love you : )”_

I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I read the note. 

I’d applied to love island when I’d had a few too many drinks a month after I broke up with a guy I’d been with for a year. When I first met Lucas, he reminded me too much of that guy. They both had this air of posh confidence. When I spoke to Lucas and he brought up rowing, I remember thinking “ _Oh of course he does! He is exactly the posh guy I came here to escape.”_ The problem was, he was exactly my type. But I’d been hurt one too many times by guys like him. So, I falsely made assumptions about him and I’d done everything in my power to avoid him. When I think about it now, my cheeks redden at the thought of how mean I had been to him initially. But going on that date with him where I tried to appear nonchalant and uninterested, I’d realised he had this vulnerable side, but it was not enough to convince me he was different from all those guys that had screwed me and then screwed me over. After Casa Amor, I picked him for reasons that… I’m still ashamed of. I expected nothing to happen between us. I tried to make sure that nothing happened between us. But the longer we stayed coupled up, I came to realise how thoughtful and caring he truly was. His armour of confidence came down, albeit rarely, and gave me a glimpse of the tenderness he possessed. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was falling for him. 

After heating the toastie for a few seconds, I was met with a heavenly taste when I dug into it. While I was waiting for Lucas to return, I took a shower. Just as I’d begun working on my physics assignment, I heard Lucas walk in and dramatically collapse on the couch with a sigh. I giggled under my breath and walked towards him. 

“Good morning, babe,” I said with a smile and stood in front of him. His eyes lit up as he saw me, and a smile played around his lips. His hands found their way to my waist and with a gentle tug, he pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked into his tantalising dark eyes as they gazed earnestly back into mine. 

“Morning, sleepyhead.” He replied and laid a soft kiss on my lips. 

“Have a good time?” I asked. 

“Hmmm, yes and no. I had fun, but I also missed you. Imagine how romantic it would have been. Just the two of us on the boat. You, looking as gorgeous as always and sipping on expensive champagne while you can’t help but stare hungrily at my ripped abs and bulging arms as I row the boat.” 

Suppressing the urge to chuckle, I looked deep into his eyes and bit my lip before I slid my hands down from his neck to his chest and then his abs slowly and teasingly. As my fingers reached the waistband of his trousers, I slipped a finger in the front and pulled it forward slightly before moving my fingers up to his biceps. My nails lightly ran across his bicep tattoo. “You’re right. You do have _bulging_ biceps.”, I whispered seductively, emphasising, the word bulging. His eyes smouldered and his gaze dropped to my lips. A breathy “Fuck” escaped his mouth before his lips landed hungrily on mine. His hands pulled my body closer to his body. 

My fingers found their way into his gelled hair, causing him to pull back and look at me. “Babe, you know not to mess with my hair.”

“Oh, you know you love it when I play with your hair,” I said teasingly and gripped his hair a little harder. His eyes sparkled and an uncontrolled moan left his mouth before he realised it. He tried to cover it by clearing his throat. I smirked at him, watching his cheeks turn red. I loved that I, and I alone, could ever have that effect on him. I leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “See? You love it.”

I could tell he enjoyed it, but he shrugged while trying to hide a smile, “I guess I have to shower later anyways. Speaking of which… wanna join me?” In response, I kissed his neck passionately. “Shit, babe,” Lucas muttered under his breath and his hold on me tightened. I peppered kissed from his neck to his shoulder before pulling back. 

“I really want to, but I’m afraid I can’t. I have to finish an assignment that’s due soon.” With one last peck on his lips, I got up. I looked down at him and smirked, “Guess you better make that shower a cold one, eh?” and with that, I walked back to my laptop. 

“You tease. You’re gonna pay for that later.” He growled. 

“Har- har.” 

“Oh, I’m definitely gonna make you pay for that later.” 

I smiled to myself as I sat back down and began working on the assignment. I was interrupted as my phone beeped. I ignored the first beep trying to get back to my work, but another beep followed. Two beeps followed closely. I knew I couldn’t focus until I saw who was texting me. I frowned unconsciously as I realised that it was Noah. 

  
[ ](https://imgur.com/Hnv1MUY)   
  


I had no idea how to respond. My first response was anger over how he’d made me feel special again. Just the way in which he strung his words together always washed me in a wave of warmth. There was a time when I would look forward to hearing words like these from him. 

One of my favourite shows was called “Crazy ex-girlfriend”. It’s honestly not as sexist as the name sounds and I’d binged it in the first month after the villa. The show followed the protagonist and her extremely toxic relationship with this one guy. One song that reminded me of Noah was a song called “Love Kernels”. The song itself is hilarious but somehow ridiculously applicable to how I felt with Noah while I was in the villa. In the song, the protagonist Rebecca talks about how she knew the guy loved her because of all these little compliments he would give her here and there, which she called “love kernels”. In the show, the guy Rebecca’s in love with is with another woman. But whenever something went wrong in between the two, he would come straight to Rebecca. Every now and again he would say the nicest thing to her, leading Rebecca on. She’d read in between the lines of everything he said to her and think that it means that he loved her. I was never in love with Noah, but there was a striking similarity between how the toxic pair had been portrayed in the show and Noah and I. He’d always know exactly what to say or do to give me butterflies that would make it impossible for me to stay away from. Recoupling after recoupling, I’d secretly hoped that he would pick me, but of course, he wouldn’t. I was his “Rebecca”. I was just the pathetic, gullible girl he strung along but never actually preferred. 

I pushed down the anger and simply replied, “I’m fine. The panic attack was over a stupid thing, anyway.” He texted back immediately. 

I had no idea how to respond to that. I didn’t know if I could still be friends with him when only two months ago I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on mine as his hands roamed my body. But surely things were different now. I loved Lucas. I truly did. There’s no way I would let anything happen between us. There’s no way he would want anything to happen between us either, after all, he and Hope were still going strong. 

Also, it could be helpful for me to talk to someone about the panic attack. I talked to Bobby and Chelsea every week, but they were both such happy and bubbly people. I felt weird about talking to them about it even though I knew they would be incredibly supportive. _“I don’t deserve their support,”_ a part of me thought. 

As time went on, I felt more and more inclined to text back Noah with a “yes”, but doubt consumed me. All these possibilities ran across my mind, and I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea or a bad one. I sighed, still unsure about whether I should text him back. I locked my phone and slid it further away from me. That’s a decision for the future Lyra, I thought to myself and went back to my assignment. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first attempt at writing a Fanfic so leave kudos or comment and tell me what you think. It's really appreciated 💛 .


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